Flippin' the Bird

This past Friday, I flipped off not one, but two drivers on my way home from work. Where I live flipping the bird to motorists is not a really common occurance. I learned that little trick when I lived in Chicago. I was a small town girl, living in a lonely world. (Sorry, I was channeling Journey there for a moment.)

I moved to Chicago when I was 22 and lived there for about four years. I can remember when I first moved there, I would get upset when people would flip me off. After a while, I could give the finger with the best of them. Unfortunately, when I would visit back home, people didn't take kindly to getting flipped off. I guess they didn't realize that in Chicago, you just expect to be flipped off.

What I don't get is how people can get pissed off at you when you honk and flip them off, when it's blatantly their fault, and they are doing something so completely stupid. They totally deserve the finger. Unless there is some rule that beat up minivans are allowed to pull out in front of a line of traffic, which is going 60 miles an hour, making us all slam on our brakes, just to drive two feet and make a left hand turn. I must have missed that day in Drivers Ed.

Add Another One to the List

First, Applebee's was on my shit list, then FedEx, now I can add JC Penney's to the list. Customer service just sucks terribly anymore.

I ordered a dining room table and chairs online from JC Penney's on July 10. The table was available, but the chairs were on backorder. I'm a little annoyed, but no biggie. On July 20, the table arrives.....broken. The guy who delivered it said he wasn't even going to take it off the truck, because he could hear the glass rattling in the box. He told my babysitter to sign, "Refused, because broken." and that JC Penney would send out a new one. Still, I'm annoyed, but not pissed.

On July 31, my chairs arrive. It would be nice to have a table to go with them, so I call JC Penneys customer service desk and talk to "Biggest Bitch in the World" lady. When I called, I nicely explained my situation and asked when I should be expecting my table.

Bitch: "Oh, that's not how it works. You sent that table back. You have to order a new one."
Me: "Even if the one you sent me was broken?"
Bitch: "Yes."
Me: "When did you receive the broken table back from the delivery guy?"
Bitch: "It hasn't arrived in the warehouse yet,"
Me: "It's been almost two weeks since it's been delivered, it should have been there by now." "I don't want to order a new table, until you receive my first one."
Bitch: "When was it delivered?"
Me: "Sometime during the week of the 17th"
Bitch: "It couldn't have been delivered on the 17th!" "It was only shipped out on the 14th!" NOW, I'm getting pissed.
Me: "I SAID it was shipped sometime the WEEK.OF.THE.17th!"

So, it's been two weeks, my broken table hasn't been sent back to the warehouse yet. I want to order a new table before it gets sold out. (The website said it's a low inventory item.) And now I have giant boxes sitting in my kitchen with the chairs in them, because I'll be damned if I'm going to open those until I have the table in my hot little hands.

I think that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard. I'm sorry your item was damaged, but we're not going to automatically send you out a new one, you have to order another one, and potentially have your credit card charged twice, until we get the old one returned, restocked and credit your account.

That's why I'm adding JC Penney's to my ever expanding shit list.

I {Heart} My Boyfriend.....

....but I hate FedEx. As I mentioned in this post, K went to the Comic-con convention in San Diego last week. He had told me that he bought me something really cool there and that he sent it to me via FedEx and that I was really, really going to love it. So, I'm counting the days in anticipation.

He sent it last Saturday, so we figured that FedEx probably wouldn't pick it up until Monday, and I would get it around Wednesday...Thursday at the latest. Wednesday....no package. Thursday....no package. Finally on Thursday, K calls to find out where it it. They never even picked it up until Tuesday and that I should expect it on Saturday. That's one full week. He could have shipped it via the regular mail, and I would have gotten it sooner. So much for Federal EXPRESS. Their name should be Federal "We'll get it there, when we feel like it."

Anyway, I did get it on Saturday, and it's the most coolest thing evah! I totally dig the artist Olivia. Well, guess whose booth was directly across from K's booth? (K was manning a booth there for a friend.) Olivia! He actually got to meet the artist and what he got me was a signed poster, with not only her autograph, but she personalized it for me....it's this poster------------------>, but it says, "Bad Kimi" on it. It's f**king awesome!

I can't believe that he kept it from me for an enitre week that he met her and didn't tell me.

I {heart} my boyfriend! :)

Tickle, Tickle

I just got a package in the mail yesterday from JC Penney. (A vanity for my bedroom, so I don't have to sit on the floor anymore to put on my makeup.) The box is sealed with a ton of packing tape and two plastic-type cords encircling the entire box. Written on the side of the box in really big red letters (in both English and Spanish...well, I'm assuming it says the same thing in Spanish) is, "Do Not Open with Sharp Object."

Um....how am I supposed to open it? Tickle it with a feather? Lick the box until it's wet enough to open? Use a spoon to dig the contents out?

How the f**k do they think I'm going to get through the layers of tape and plastic cording? My guess is they had to write that on the box just so they can cover their ass if I accidently poke my eye out with a steak knife while trying to open it. They can say, "See it says right here to not open it with a sharp object." "She should have tried the feather method."

And who's the dumbass who sued the company after they hurt themselves while opening the box? You know that's why JC Penney is obligated to write that asinine statement on the box now.

My Summer of Guilt

I have to sadly admit that I have an annual summer indulgence, a guilty pleasure. Every summer I get completely involved in Big Brother. I don't really watch too many reality shows, but this one just sucks me in every year. I totally get into it and love watching everyone strategize and scheme and form alliances and lie. I don't know what it is.

If I ever was on a reality show, this would probably be the only one that I could possibly compete in.

Survivor - no. I didn't go to the bathroom at girl scout camp for three days, because I couldn't fathom going in an outhouse. So, living on some remote island for three months.....not gonna happen.

Fear Factor - no. I'm not eating spiders or having snakes dumped on me.

American Idol - no. Aside from the fact that I can't sing, I don't think I'm in their demographic range.

The Apprentice - no. I'm still amazed that these contestants are supposedly the best and the brightest in the business world, yet it seems as though most of them don't have any office/people/teamwork skills. Or are they the best contestants NBC can get who can actually take 3 months off of work?

The Bachelor - no. Although the guys on this show are quite the catch (read: sarcasm), acting catty and slutty just to get to the next round.....count me out.

But Big Brother...sure. I can sit on my ass in LA all summer, eating Cheetos, sitting in a hot tub and scheming. Count me in!